I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
