so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
