I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I understand Curling. That high.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
