sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
