Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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