your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
