my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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