i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
