You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
