he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
