My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize