just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
