Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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