Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
