i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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