I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize