So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
