drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I love you. Go after that dick
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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