Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
