Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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