One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
