that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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