fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
