we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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