Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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