Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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