she was so not down for the gang bang
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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