Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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