So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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