i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
