so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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