just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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