A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
