saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
two words: eviction party
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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