i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
