Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
