His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
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