I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just found puke in my bra..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE