SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.