Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!