the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
