he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
