dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
