Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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