Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
