my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
