I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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