Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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