Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
