Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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