Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
