Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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