y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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