I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
