this beer tastes like vomit already
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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