and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize