the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
