Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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