She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
