you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
