i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
