I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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