I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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