I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize