i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
