I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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