Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
