2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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