omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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