i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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