Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
