i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize