so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
