O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
