Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
