I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
